by Will Santino
What is a Sobaloopsian? According to the Duultian Theory of Sensual Microfauna, incredibly small animals live deep in our eyes, our ears, our nose, in the fey swampland of our tongue, and all across our skin (what Van Duult termed 'our endless dermal desert'). But the aural zoo is not populated with Sobaloopsians. They are even smaller than the animals, like the Sonivertillia, who call our inner ear their home. Van Duult submits that just as we have Sensual Creatures living in our Sense-Centers, so must those microscopic beasts have even smaller Living Creatures in their own Sense-Centers, and so on, ad infinitum. In fact, one of Van Duult's last theories ever published promulgated the belief that Humans, and every living beast of this planet, resides in a Cosmic Ear, or a Cosmic Nostril, or a Cosmic Retina, and that our quotidian appointments and every-day actions help produce in some unimaginably large and complex being the sensation of, say, yellow, or the the scent of cinnamon, or the taste of mellon rind.
Of course, Maximilian Van Duult's theories passed with the Wonderful Plague. Reference to his whimsical and ill-built syllogisms reside only in the fantastick Journals of Contemporaries, such as Samuel Pepys, Sir Ebenezer Ullian, and others.