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The Cracked Dispensary (cracked)

Birth of a Minion

by The Cracked Dispensary
  • Black Navy Tri-Black

15% Off Plus
Free Shipping Today


American Apparel T-shirts are made with 100% fine jersey cotton combed for softness and comfort. (Athletic Grey and Athletic Blue contain 50% polyester / 25% cotton / 25% rayon)


Just like every living creature, all those minions have to be born from somewhere. The beginning of every life is a miracle…in theory, but in practice it’s usually much more disgusting, so before you judge a species that hatches from pendulous snot sacks take a look in the mirror, Jack, because you were no prize when you squirted out either. Wear this and remind yourself that no matter how good looking you get in your smart new t-shirt, we all come from the same place: a pod of viscera.

About the designer: Caleb Payne is a 19-year-old college freshman majoring in New Media Design. He spends his free time trying to explain what New Media Design is to various older relatives (it’s like..on screens and…actually, just forget it). His passions include making things (, reading Cracked articles, and sucking up to humor websites.