I'm an artist and maker of things. I have a plethora of ridiculous phobias, a full history of questionable decisions, a vast vocabulary of foul language, and a bottomless pit of stories with no real point. I'm not an expert in anything, spinach always bums me out, cold water makes me a hysterical mess, I never know where to store my shoes, I hate bumper stickers and window decals, I learned all the wrong things at college, and I'm on the internet far too much.