A portrait of a woman in classical 19th-century style wears an elegant blue draped gown and a green party hat with a gold star, her dark hair swept to the side as she gazes with serene composure. The words "MERRY CHRISTMAS, BITCHES" appear in hand-lettered green text to the right, creating a sharp contrast between the refined historical subject and the irreverent, contemporary message. Crafted from eco-friendly bamboo with a glossy printed surface and made to order, hand wash only. A coffee table platter, entryway catchall, or breakfast-in-bed carrier that carries an independent artist's work, not a store-shelf print.